Claude the Cat Continues to Muse (Meows?)

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Marguerite Stephens

Marguerite Stephens, History Teacher

I’m learning new ways to get my people’s attention.  In the morning I figure that it is time to let me outside, to survey my territory.  Morning to me is whenever I wake up.  Unfortunately, my people don’t see it that way. They stay in bed until 5 or 6 am….or later!  It is unheard of.  SHE gets up (finally) and I decide to allow her to let me out.  HE fed me (and got rid of the dried up tuna juice in the white bowl), cleaned out my toite, and refused to let me go out.  SHE will listen to my order.  I keep going back to her, rub up on her, and then show her that she must follow me.  I don’t even look back; she should be following me. If she doesn’t follow, I have to go back and remind her who is the boss here.   It’s always the same.  How many times I have to go through this ritual!  They are not easy to train as I thought they would be.

Finally, she gets it.  I am allowing them to see me go outside, which is their honor.  She  finally opens the front door so I could decide if I really wanted to go out. 

So what that I take my time!   Half of me in, half outside.  Have to be sure it’s really what I want after all.  I think she is trying to push me out!  Ouch!  How rude of her!  Surely after all this time she realizes that I’ll go when I’m ready.  For now, I’ll proudly strut out, with my tail straight up.

Outside it’s squirrel time!  There they go, across the yard.  Up trees.  Down trees.  I can’t keep up but I’ll never let them know.  I am above running around playing games.  That bushy tail they have is just a distraction.   MY tail is much more civilized, straight up and dignified.   (These squirrels also have large teeth.)  I don’t do many trees since my front claws don’t work anymore.  I have gotten up some trees, but not those big ones the squirrels go to.  I think I will sit, clean my face and act cool. 

What was that loud noise!  I tripped over my feet running to the back door. Hope the squirrels didn’t see me run.   There are such scary noises out here.  Not sure why but I am afraid of loud noises. Must have been something terrible in my young kitty life before I selected these humans.  It was scary in a cage with so many other kitties.  Not too many people came to look at us.  When she and he stepped in, I had to take my chance.  HE stood there, in the middle of the area.  I laid on his shoes.  That was it.  HE picked me up and they became my servants. 

Much safer in the basement, even if there are noises upstairs.  Great place to hide among the old suitcases and boxes.  I tried laying on the old typewriter…Boy was that uncomfortable! 

Look at my people!  They’re down on the floor, rolling around and moving in strange ways.   She’s on the floor over there by the couch!  In my territory.  What is going on.  Watch out!  She almost kicked me.  There goes the other leg. She keeps counting….1, 2, 3…. I can’t tell where to lay down.  Maybe they just want to be closer to me?  Naw….

Oh Boy!  One of my favorite times is when she gets the yarn out.  I get to sit and watch it go up and down, and sometimes capture it.  I think she likes to torment me with the wiggling.  Just like when they put on Dr. Pol and I hear all those animals!  Some of them are so sad and hurting.  Especially the cats.  And he keeps reminding everyone that he has a three-legged cat!  I like the sounds when the dogs have porcupine quills in their noses!

Well, looks like it’s time for bed.  I’ll get in bed next to her when she’s asleep and wake her up. Meowing in her ear will get me a belly rub until she goes back to sleep. Glad she learned that I don’t take no for an answer. 

Now it’s my time to roam around without overseers!  Wonder is I can roll all the pencils off the table!